Oh where oh where did this blogger go oh where oh where can it be

I can't believe it's been a month since I posted to this blog. I'm sure many of you have forgotten about me at this point but alas. Hope springs eternal. So I'll do a quick wrap up of the previous task and then propose a new one for the next 30 days. First a disclaimer

DISCLAIMER: The writer of this blog apologizes for his long absence. He did a two week retreat and then went home for another two weeks. Yes he could have found time to write this blog, but he didn't he wiled away his time watching voyager and spending time with family. He drank too many carbonated beverages and thought to many cynical thoughts but now he is back ready to begin anew this task of tasks called personal growth please forgive him his humanity.

So how did week four go

1. File letter with DHS
2. Work on proposal for Discernment committee.
3. Call Angela
4. Start Exercising again (I did good last week, but this one <---SLACKER)
5. Make Jogen A DVD of Talk
6. Post Week 3 Summary Blog
7. work on Dharma School version of Wagon Wheel
8. work on case for DDLL
9. make list of intentions for next retreat
10. clean up older stuff from my computer as prep for sale
11. clean up my cube
12. start smiling practice again

This is what the list looks like. As you can see I did ok as I finished 7 tasks so technically I did finish one for each day of that week.

I really enjoyed doing this task and was happy to get this done, but the challenge is that I have to make the list and post it. I need to keep it somewhere where I can refer to it often and up date it often.

It really poses the question to me of what kind of person do I want to be. A person who uses the 24 hours of the day or a person who is used by the 24 hours of the day. I know that if I use this technique and something called the pomodoro method I do get more things done. But of course this is because on some level I don't have the type of self discipline to focus on things in this formal way. Alas it takes self discipline to make this list. So my weakness amplifies itself but if I can do the list then I my strength will amplify itself. I vow to do my best to keep doing this task for the next month. I'll let you know how it goes but I won't be updating you on my progress.

My next task

Deepening and strengthening personal relationships. More on that later

Week 4 Whatever happened to week 4

<-------SLACKER Ok given given I am a slacker indeed. I went on vacation last week and FAIL! didn't keep a to do list and didn't keep up my vow. What was I thinking. Oh right I was thinking I was on vacation. Anyway so here is the report from week 3 This was the list 1. Start Day with 50 Pushups and 100 Sit ups
2. Do yoga after Lunch break
3. Sit for 25 mins at least after closing rounds
4. STAY AWAKE (Half Crossed Out)
5. Start Koan work as soon as I wake up
6. Get Up at the wake up bell every morning
7. Do 108 bows every day after day 1
8. Don't count days (Half Crossed Out)
9. Post a blog for week 2
10. Sit outside at least one night

So thats how I did. 1,2,and 3 I did with little problem.

#4 well I did the best I could but I still fell asleep a few times. All in all I was able to stay awake mostly for meditation during the retreat. I certainly did better than the last couple when it came to that so I felt good about this one. For those of you who are curious I've learned how to fall almost completely asleep while sitting upright in half lotus. This is not the best skill to gain for meditation.

#5 I honestly forgot that I had made this a goal. I did pretty well with this one but forgot it as a goal so I can't count it.

#6 I did this one day. I don't know why it is but I really enjoy sleeping in even if it's just for an extra couple of minutes. I find it a nice little rebellion that doesn't hurt anyone. Still I wish I jumped out of bed when it rang. For anyone who is curious the wake up bell rang at 4 in the morning during this retreat.

#7 I did with little problem though I have gotten out of the habit of doing bows this week. I have a vow to do 108,000 bows of atonement. It's going to take a while I've done something like 10,000 or so. It will take even longer if I don't apply myself

#8 I tried very hard not to count days, but I still did a few times. I have to check the tapes in the camera and put food away. But I know that counting days is not a good thing. It never helps make the retreat seem shorter or keep you focused on what you are supposed to be doing.

#9 I did before the retreat and #10 We did every night anyway so the community really helped me out with that one.

Doing this task during a sesshin (Long meditation retreat) was interesting and I liked the idea of a to do list that was a list of goals instead. I list of repeatable tasks instead of just one offs. It was like a habit to do list which really helped me keep momentum going the whole week. If I can be creative like this during long retreats I think I can keep my vows going during those times. In either case I do intend to start the practice of writing a list of intentions before a retreat in order to keep my focus while I'm in retreat. So that's it for week3.

I'm going to say week 4 starts yesterday, b/c I took last week off and then for some reason I thought week 3 was week 4 and I needed to pick a new topic and I didn't realize my mistake. Ah well so here is week 4's list

1. File letter with DHS
2. Work on proposal for Discernment committee.
3. Call Angela
4. Start Exercising again (I did good last week, but this one <---SLACKER) 5. Make Jogen A DVD of Talk
6. Post Week 3 Summary Blog
7. work on Dharma School version of Wagon Wheel
8. work on case for DDLL
9. make list of intentions for next retreat
10. clean up older stuff from my computer as prep for sale
11. clean up my cube
12. start smiling practice again

Week 2 -3 Forgetting to Remember

So this is how my Week 2 list went

1. Practice Marimba part B=
2. Work on Soul Collage C- (Revised) Write Thank You Note
3. Work on Jizos from last sesshin C- X2
4. Write a blog post about week one and intro week 2 A=
5. Write a note to Hogen about the book I borrowed B=
6. Take a walk through the forest at night C-
7. Call Angela about amends A+
8. Book xmas flight A+
9. Do more research on ticket A+
10. Write something for Rinei A=
11. Work on letter A=
12. Cut my hair B-


So as you can see I did a good job on actually getting things done. Which is pretty amazing considering that I basically forgot several things for several days.

THE LIST
So even though I didn't look at the list, because I had made it in the first place I was able to pull from memory many of the things I needed to do. I often did two items on one day as I had a very busy week this last week. So it's good to see external practice becoming internal intention.

THE CONSISTENCY.
This is where I was most lacking I wasn't consistent in doing one thing each day. This vow has two points: 1. to get things done that need doing. 2. To get in the habit of keeping track of to do items and doing them each day. It's the latter I am more concerned about this week. I've gone through 'getting stuff done' phases before and I'm very productive, but they were never sustainable. If this is going to be a 'habit' I develop I really need to work on my consistency.

THE END OF 30 DAYS?
So the question had been brought to me whether this next week will be week 3 or not. I go into sesshin or long meditation retreat and keeping a list going just isn't very practical. I think for this time I will try to keep the list going and see how it works. So here is the list for week 3

1. Start Day with 50 Pushups and 100 Sit ups
2. Do yoga after Lunch break
3. Sit for 25 mins at least after closing rounds
4. STAY AWAKE
5. Start Koan work as soon as I wake up
6. Get Up at the wake up bell every morning
7. Do 108 bows every day after day 1
8. Don't count days
9. Post a blog for week 2
10. Sit outside at least one night

So here is the list this is tailored to be items that I can do during retreat. They are a set of intentions I have for the week. I'll let you know how they go. Thanks again for reading and may you have a productive vow filled week.

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THANKS

Week 2

So here is my new list for week 2

1. Practice Marimba part B=
2. Work on Soul Collage C-
3. Work on Jizos from last sesshin C-
4. Write a blog post about week one and intro week 2 A=
5. Write a note to Hogen about the book I borrowed B=
6. Take a walk through the forest at night C-
7. Call Angela about amends A+
8. Book xmas flight A+
9. Do more research on ticket A+
10. Write something for Rinei A=
11. Work on letter A=
12. Cut my hair B-

Key A Soon B Soonish C No time constraint
+ Curcial =Important - Meh

So here is my list for week 2. I had to tailor some of the items to fit into the fact that I will be in retreat for 3 of these days. So I had to have 3 things I would like to/ need to do that I can do with out talking.

One of my main obstacles is that I am actually running out of things that need to be urgently done. Before I started doing this I actually got several things done I had been slacking on. As you can see by my list there are only 3 A+ items and the rest are either not urgent or not important. I need to get much more diligent about writing things down as they occur to me.

Well that's it for week 2. I'll let you know how it goes after I get out of retreat. You'll find
a full list of my vows for the week including my daily vows below.

May your next 30 days be filled with something new and something passionate too.

Gassho
Sam Gentoku


These are my vows. All things in my life are impermanent, but my vow will continue beyond my small life.
Life Vows
1. I vow to be of deep and fundamental service
2. I vow to have a open unhidden compassionate heart
3. I vow to make amends for my unskillful actions
4. I vow to realize my true nature for the sake of all beings
Daily Vows
1. I vow to brush my teeth really well every day and floss often
2. I vow to exercise for 30 mins 6 days a week
3. I vow to practice smiling everyday
30 Day vows
1. Practice Marimba part B=
2. Work on Soul Collage C-
3. Work on Jizos from last sesshin C-
4. Write a blog post about week one and intro week 2 A=
5. Write a note to Hogen about the book I borrowed B=
6. Take a walk through the forest at night C-
7. Call Angela about amends A+
8. Book xmas flight A+
9. Do more research on ticket A+
10. Write something for Rinei A=
11. Work on letter A=
12. Cut my hair B-

The Rest of week 1

The Rest of the Week
1. Start a new blog and write a post in it for the week
2. Email Onshin and Richard about ordination discernment
3. Email Sangha about ticket
4. Call Angela about amends
5. Make easy way to display to do list so I won't forget about it
6. Call mom about NVC Workshop work
7. Find a place to go out for my anniversary
8. Find out about getting tested and make an appointment
9. Practice my marimba part
10. Book Xmas flight

So here is where I ended up for the rest of week 1. So I have to admit I changed one item after that day because I didn't complete any other tasks that day. I realize that I can't have items on the list that I can only complete at the monastery. So I either need to expand the list to 12 items or I need to empty out some completed tasks sooner. I think I will do the former because it's nice to see what I've gotten done in a week. Having said all that I did complete seven items on my list in the first week. So doing an extra item on one day was very helpful.

My main reflection on week 1 is that it was very helpful to have a list to keep me focused on tasks that I want to get done. It was also easy for me to forget once I left the seclusion of the monastery. I am enjoying this process, but next week we go back to having much less time at the monastery. So I will have to see how I can work these items into my schedule. Thanks to any and all of you who are reading.

Day 2 and 3 Rubber and Road Meet

So I was able to get started on my list today and I'm happy to say that I used my list and completed another task. Here is my list now.

1. Start a new blog and write a post in it for the week A=
2. Email Onshin and Richard about ordination discernment B=
3. Email Sangha about ticket A+
4. Call Angela about amends B+
5. Make easy way to display to do list so I won't forget about it B=
6. Finish painting Jizo statues from Sesshin B-
7. Work on a song C-
8. Make a soul collage C-
9. Practice my marimba part A+
10. Book Xmas flight A+

The only problem was that it took me so long to do this during my dinner break that I didn't get to exercise as much as I normally do. Exercising for at least 30 mins a day is a vow I've been working on for a few months now and I am really looking at what do I have to give up in any moment to complete a vow. I'm glad I wrote an email to Rich and Onshin I've been procrastinating about it for a while, but I wish I had gotten enough exercise in as well. Then again some things came up that were out of my control.

My feelings on it are that a new vow is more fragile and so it needs to be taken care of maybe more than a more solid one so I think my sacrifice was a good one. I have missed exercise before and it always really helps me remember why I do it 6 days a week. I think that when I make my vows more visible I need to include these longer vows just to keep things in perspective.

DAY 3 Repositioning
So today I felt like I didn't have very much time because I really wanted to exercise and I wanted to write a post as well. So I tried to pick a task that I could complete quickly. I chose to work on making my to do list more visible so that I will remember what I need to do. Here is what it looks like:

These are my vows. All things in my life are impermanent, but my vow will continue beyond my small life.
Life Vows
1. I vow to be of deep and fundamental service
2. I vow to have a open unhidden compassionate heart
3. I vow to make amends for my unskillful actions
4. I vow to realize my true nature for the sake of all beings
Daily Vows
1. I vow to brush my teeth really well every day
2. I vow to exercise for 30 mins 6 days a week
3. I vow to smile everyday
30 Day vows
1. I vow to keep a to do list and complete or attempt to complete one item each day
To do list Week 1
1. Start a new blog and write a post in it for the week
2. Email Onshin and Richard about ordination discernment
3. Email Sangha about ticket
4. Call Angela about amends
5. Make easy way to display to do list so I won't forget about it
6. Finish painting Jizo statues from Sesshin
7. Find a place to go out for my anniversary
8. Find out about getting tested and make an appointment
9. Practice my marimba part
10. Book Xmas flight

As you can also see I changed a few items out. I realized there were a couple of things that were more urgent that I needed to take care of. I'm glad I categorized my list so it was easy to see what I could drop more easily.

I traded out working on a song and soul collage with finding a restaurant for my anniversary dinner and finding a place to get tested and making an appointment.

I'm going out for my anniversary this weekend so that made it a A+ item and I need to get my Regular STD test that I try to get every year or two depending on how sexually active I've been. I'm over due for it so I need to get it done soon.

What I'm really enjoying about this process is that I can see the things that are important to me and at the same time I can see what I need to get done sooner rather than later. It's like before all these wants and needs were just floating around in my brain. By applying a to do list to the chaos I can really make informed decisions about what I need to do and when. I'll keep working on it and let you all know whats going on in a few days.

Day 1 Making the List

So I figured I should try to make a list that includes things that might be harder for me to complete as well as things that would be easier. That way I don't stack the deck against myself. So here is what I'm going to start off with.

1. Start a new blog and write a post in it for the week
2. Email Onshin and Richard about ordination discernment
3. Email Sangha about ticket
4. Call Angela about amends
5. Make easy way to display to do list so I won't forget about it
6. Finish painting Jizo statues from Sesshin
7. Work on a song
8. Make a soul collage
9. Practice my marimba part
10. Book Xmas flight

So I of course did the first one already, but I figured this would give me a good boost to get me going. I also thought about categorizing my list in some way and here is what I came up with.

A= Hare: the sooner I do it the better
B= Trex: It's better I don't wait to long, but it's not very time sensitive
C= Tortise: It's not time sensitive at all

+ = Very important
= = Somewhat important
- = not important to frivoulous

So here is what my list looks like now
1. Start a new blog and write a post in it for the week A=
2. Email Onshin and Richard about ordination discernment B=
3. Email Sangha about ticket A+
4. Call Angela about amends B+
5. Make easy way to display to do list so I won't forget about it B=
6. Finish painting Jizo statues from Sesshin B-
7. Work on a song C-
8. Make a soul collage C-
9. Practice my marimba part A+
10. Book Xmas flight A+

So now when I look at my list I can easily see what I need to do and then prioritize what I should work on today.

So that's just a peek into my process we'll see how it goes from here.